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A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
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Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
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A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
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The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
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Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
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They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it\'s the exact opposite.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
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In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
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Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
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You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Don\'t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
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I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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